Local claims adjuster David Seaborne, a devoted husband and father of three,...– The Onion - Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla
50 rules for restaurant staffers (with 50 more to... →
J: shit! i just realized something my costume is missing: a cape.
K: just pray for one from jesus and the lord will provide.
J: lord jesus is too busy sleeping off a scotch hangover
K: lord jesus loves his highlands single malts
Destino, the collaboration between Salvador Dali and Walt Disney, finally completed in 2003. Give yourself the 6 minutes it takes to watch this. Edit: link to a different version of the film.
I Might Be Wrong - Radiohead
"slow sunday morning" - a new 8tracks mix →
Andrew W.K. demonstrates how to properly interact with pundits.
Do you understand this, Twilight fans? Regular vampires are shit. They can...– A Hierarchy of Monsters (the nerdiest thing I’ve read in a LONG time)
That’s the trouble, a sex symbol becomes a thing. But if I’m going...– Marilyn Monroe
Living on about $500,000 a year - F. Scott... →
Cell Size and Scale (carbon atom vs coffee bean) →
House of the Rising Sun - The Animals I’m...
Boom Boom - The Animals
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t...– The world’s funniest joke, according to recent research
On what men say to each other in reference to...
J: there was once a girl who came through neihart while i was working who looked just like tori amos. i would have given her my heart right then and there.
K: those are my favorites, when it transcends sex and is full on "i want to boyfriend that shit" "i would discuss moving in together like a MADMAN with her" "she could sleep in my boxers ANY day, know what i'm sayin?" "oh man i would cosign a lease so fast with her"
J: "i would spoon the hell out of her, AND make the coffee!" "i would bring HER toast in bed, and even let her eat it there, crumbs and all if you know what i mean. and i mean crumbs on my sheets is uncomfortable."
K: "did you see her breasts? i would totally buy her a fancy dress that made those look really nice for when we go out to the theatre"
J: "i would so let her rip out my heart, stomp on it, make me cry, fuck all my friends and get back together with her eventually"
K: "i would totally let her write cutesy sticky-notes about things to me"
J: "mmm, if she sent me xkcd cartoons in emails and said 'reminds me of you' then i would be content in our relationship
K: "you know what i'd like to do to her? go through a midlife crisis, make mistakes, apologize profusely, learn my lesson and retire happily with her"
J: "i want to lay in that lap and fall asleep as she strokes my hair and makes gentle sighing sounds and kisses my head!"
France might ban scientology, convicted the... →
My Girls - Animal Collective I’ve probably posted this before, but I think it still stands as a great music video and Animal Collective’s best track.